One name.
Three times.
Pick the first name of a friend who’s in on the joke, or a fictional nickname. Hear “name sucks” three times. Receive a certificate. Finally, your group chat has evidence.
Check a name’s record“You suck.” Now with a price tag.
Certify who sucks, starting at $1 CAD. Same name next time? Pay double to say the same two words.
Pay to make it officialSee the current price before making your point.One name.
Same name.
Double trouble.
A new name starts at $1 CAD. Each paid declaration doubles its next price: $2, $4, $8 and onward. Names rank by declarations, not dignity.
Meet the podium nobody trained forCan nonsense
go somewhere?
A proposed ten-day paid experiment with a $10,000 CAD goal. This free launch campaign does not start its paid clock. The public tracker shows actual payments and refunds.
Inspect our questionable ambitionNO SCIENTIFIC BASIS. EXCELLENT PAPERWORK.You’ve read the business plan.
You’ve read the business plan.
Now lower your expectations.
Get a shareable certificate. Add a declaration to that name’s suckboard count. Send it to the friend who will understand.
Pay to make it official
Pass the questionable judgment on.
One friend sent you here. The circle of nonsense continues.
Read your ready-made caption
“You suck.” Now with a price tag. A new first name starts at $1 CAD. We announce “name sucks” three times and give you a shareable certificate. Someone else agrees, or you still feel the same tomorrow? The next paid declaration costs double: $2, $4, $8. The same two words. An increasingly expensive point. Names rank by declaration count, not anyone’s actual character. The higher the price, the harder it is to say “just kidding.” Pick a friend who’s in on the joke. CAD base prices are before tax. Stripe confirms the total and any available local-currency option before payment. Replays included. Make it official: https://officiallysucks.lol/invite/paperwork #OfficiallySucks First names only. Keep it friendly.
https://officiallysucks.lol/invite/paperwork