Officially Sucks is a home for nonsensical internet experiments. Little ideas that make you stop scrolling, laugh, and send a friend a link with “I cannot believe someone built this.” We want more of that internet. The one where curiosity occasionally outranks an argument.
Our purpose is to make the internet a little less serious, one beautifully unnecessary idea at a time. A tiny holiday from having an opinion about everything. Naturally, our first experiment gives opinions their own certificates. The founder has confused irony with a business qualification.
One first name. Three announcements. One certificate. New paid names start at $1 CAD before tax; each completed purchase doubles that name’s next base price. Replays are included. Our paid experiment has a $10,000 CAD goal over ten days, with actual progress on the tracker.
Meet the loud button →The best bit is the friend who opens your link and says, “You actually did this?” We build for that moment. No grand promise to change humanity. Just a few minutes where humanity stops reading the comments.
First names or fictional nicknames. Consenting adults. No surnames, identifying details, harassment or targeting minors. Names are shared labels, not judgments about a specific human.
Report something →If Experiment #1 reaches $10,000 CAD in its ten-day paid run, we plan to launch branded merch starting at $1 CAD a piece, with the price doubling after every purchase. Same merch. Increasingly difficult to explain to your accountant.
Why? Because apparently the founder’s bad judgment needed a clothing line. If we miss the target, the founder is still delusional. Just less well dressed.
Experiment #2 is a proposed follow-up, not an available product. The merch, shipping and sale terms will be announced before it launches.
Payments go to the business. Fees, hosting, refunds and taxes come first. What remains supports the people making Officially Sucks and whatever questionable idea comes next. This is not a charity, investment or prize draw. We’d rather say that plainly than put a stock photo of a mountain behind it.
See the experiment’s actual numbers →Pitch a harmless experiment. Vote for the next one. We’ll supply the overthinking.
Visit the idea department