Primary wordmark
The full name, for articles and larger placements.
Download transparent PNGTHE PRESS ROOM. YES, REALLY.All the nonsense.
All the nonsense.
On the record.
Officially Sucks is a brand for playful online social experiments. Its first experiment lets consenting adults choose a first name or fictional nickname, hear “name sucks” three times, and receive a shareable certificate. New paid names start at $1 CAD before tax. Each completed paid declaration doubles that name’s next base price. Stripe confirms tax and the total before payment; replays are included.
The paid experiment has a $10,000 CAD goal over ten days; the tracker shows its actual timing and progress. This is a goal, not money already raised. Revenue counts completed paid declaration prices less refunds, excluding checkout tax and before costs.
Experiment #2: wearable poor judgment.
If Experiment #1 reaches $10,000 CAD in its ten-day paid run, we plan to launch branded merch starting at $1 CAD a piece, with the price doubling after every purchase. Same merch. Increasingly difficult to explain to your accountant.
Why? Because apparently the founder’s bad judgment needed a clothing line. If we miss the target, the founder is still delusional. Just less well dressed.
Experiment #2 is a proposed follow-up, not an available product. The merch, shipping and sale terms will be announced before it launches.
Logos. With permission to judge.
Use these logos when covering Officially Sucks. Keep the proportions and colours intact, and leave space around the mark. PNG files are raster images; vector and embroidery files are not included.
OS monogram
The small mark, for avatars and compact placements.
Download transparent PNG
Brand reference
The approved wordmark and colour and monochrome directions.
Download reference PNG“Some startups solve problems. We give Kevin a PDF.”
“We built a website that says two words three times. Naturally, we gave it a revenue target.”
“Brands get a free billboard. Kevin gets a joke certificate. We call that economic policy.”
Backlinks welcome. Pulitzer optional.
You may quote these press lines with attribution and link to Officially Sucks. You may reproduce our supplied logos and mascot when covering this project. This permission does not cover advertisers’ posters or third-party trademarks.
A free wall for real brands.
Brands submit a 1200 × 675 poster they own or may use, verify an email matching their website domain, and pass human review. Approved ads queue in order. Each gets five protected minutes and stays longer if no approved ad is waiting.
A joke, not a dossier.
A shared first name does not identify a particular person. The announcement is entertainment, not a factual allegation. Please preserve that context when quoting us. Don’t use this project to harass, identify or target anyone.
The sensible small print.
Users and advertisers are responsible for their submissions and permissions. Approval is not an endorsement. We cannot guarantee third-party claims, external websites, placement length beyond the stated minimum, or results. Liability may be limited only where applicable law allows; mandatory consumer rights remain unaffected.
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